MarySue, I Think I Love You!
by ScatturedBraained
Summary: Meet Mary Sue, the girl that every girl wants to be. She fights death eaters, gets any guy she wants, and her parents died in a tragic ice cream truck accident. She's the perfect girl for Harry. Or is she? Please R&R!


Mary-Sue was your average teenage girl. Flawless skin, cascading curls and chocolate eyes.

**Your "average teenage girl"? Oh, please. **

The ministry had asked her to spy on suspected Death Eaters at Hogwarts. She had perfected her magic skills at Auror training and was a fabulous animangi. So, she was transferred into Hogwarts and was sorted into Gryffindor!

**Oh, whoopee. No big surprise...**

Harry had recently gotten taller, muscular and got contacts. Now he was a "sexy beast". He was also now Sensitive!Harry and Angsty!Harry. He had gotten rid of that sad excuse of a girl friend, (who was now Emo!Ginny,) and was looking for the perfect girl.

Needless to say, Mary-Sue was the perfect girl for Harry.

**Oh my gawd, I can hear you all go, "NO SHIT, SHERLOCK!"**

But, you see Mary-Sue wasn't perfect.

**Yes, I think I'm trying to redeem my self...Let me guess, her parents died?**

Her parents had died in a tragic ice cream truck incident. She wanted to find the boy who understood her the best and–

**Let me guess, "Needless to say, Harry could understand her."**

–needless to say, Harry could understand her.

Mary-Sue walked into the common room, smiling at everyone who walked by. The boys' eyes lingered on her and girls immediately wanted to be her or her friend. Sluttyandsuddenlystylish!Hermione walked up to Mary-Sue and shook her hand.

"Hi, I'm Hermione Granger. And you are?"

"Mary-Sue."

Here, the author of the story walked up to Mary-Sue and said,

"Mary-Sue what?" Hermione and Mary-Sue looked at each other.

"Just Mary-Sue," Mary-Sue laughed. Ditzy!Hermione giggled with her. The author looked at an invisible fourth wall where she claimed the "readers" were.

"SEE WHAT I MEAN?!" Mary-Sue looked at the author strangely and rolled her eyes. Then she looked over at Hermione's friends. Of course, there was non-existent!Ron

**Then how could she see him!**

But when Ron moved, she saw Harold James Potter. She knew at that moment that they would get married, have children and have a nasty divorce.

**I thought she loved him...?**

But then they'd get back together. Now Harry hadn't seen Mary-Sue (**With no last name!**) But when Padma gaped at the new girl with perfect, sleek, platinum hair he looked over.

"She's not that great," Harry thought.

**GO, HARRY!**

Harry turned back around and then looked at the girl again.

"Wow, how come I couldn't see her beauty before?" He re-thought.

**Damn, you, Harry.**

Mary-Sue made her way over to Harry and introduced herself.

"Why, hello. I'm Mary-Sue. And you are?" Harry gazed into her blue eyes and couldn't speak. He felt his tongue numb under pressure.

**Of what? His teeth? And I thought she had "chocolate" eyes...**

"Parry Hotter!"

**Oh, hah. You're so funny. –slaps myself– **

"Parry?"

"I meant Harry."

"Oh."

"Would you care to dance?" Suave!Harry asked. Mary Sue's laugh rang through his ears.

"But there's no music!"

**Okay. Put. Down. The. Laptop. NOW, WISHFULWINGS!**

"It doesn't matter," He took her hand and they began to dance. Everyone began to stare at their perfect-couple-ness-ocsity.

**AH! STOP THE CLICHES!**

They fit perfectly together. Mary Sue's hand felt just right in Harry's hand; it was like two puzzle pieces that fit together.

"Harry, I don't think we should do this."

"Why not, Mary Sue? I thought you cared for me."

**Oh, yes. Yet she hardly knows you.**

"Well, it's just...Harry, I'm not as perfect as I seem."

"What is it? Do you have a nasty fungal infection?"

Here the narrator (**NOT THE AUTHOR! The narrator is the crazy person who has taken over powers of my hands!) **scratched "nasty fungal infection" out and replaced it with, "feelings for someone else.:"

"No. It's just–" She let a dramatic sigh out. "It's just, I don't know if you could understand the complexity of my mind!"

"Is it because of your parents?" Wise!Harry asked serenely.

**How do you ask something, "serenely?"**

"Why, yes. How did you know?"

"I felt an immediate connection when I first saw you!"

"Really?"

"Yes, Mary-Sue. I think I love you!"

"Oh. But Harry! I love someone else!"

**WHAT! I THOUGHT SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T HAVE ANY OTHER FEELINGS FOR ANYONE ELSE!**

No. She said no to the nasty fungal infection.

Harry gaped at his love and asked,

"Who is it?"

"I think I love...Draco..."

**A/N **

**Oh, gawd. I had too much fun with that. I'll put the Draco chapter up...once I find some Pepto-Bismol. Or crack. Or anything that can stop me from getting nauseous from this story. Damn you, fingers!** We didn't do anything! **YOU LIE! Please review!**


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